Strolling

This post is dreadfully late. I'm so sorry! Better late than never, right?

About three weeks ago I returned from church camp, which you know is one of my favorite weeks of the year. Some years I see, feel, and hear clearly the lessons God is teaching me; some years it takes a while for it to sink in. This year it took some time, but this week I finally began understand my Jesus Walk Lesson.

            For the last five years our camp has done a night-time walk with a spiritual focus. We call it the Jesus Walk. For the first two years it took place on a bike path circling a lake (the same path we use for the “PDA Hike”), the third year was on a new path,  and the last two years we’ve kept the Jesus Walk confined to our campground utilizing a part of camp and a path we don’t regularly use during the week.

            This year’s Jesus Walk went well.  Jesus and I had a nice moment and a long chat, and we ended the night with some incredible worship. But I didn’t feel like I had learned my Big Lesson. (See my blog post “Change of Plans” for more information.) That came on Friday of camp, but I didn’t figure it out til last week. Let me rewind.

            Each year we take a “Stroll Around the Lake” in the state park, but not on our camp site. It is unofficially nicknamed the “PDA Hike” because camp couples tend to walk together and the adults pretend to look the other way if they hold hands. It’s really nothing, just a relaxed evening walk. This year we had storms on Wednesday and were treated to some brilliant lightning displays right before the stroll.  So we canceled it, loaded up the busses, and headed back to camp. When the rain never came, we took an optional Stroll within camp (the same path as this year’s Jesus Walk). I walked with different groups of teens, and one sweet girl asked if I was ok, because she knows I sometimes struggle with loneliness on this particular walk. I told her I was ok, and I was. But ten minutes later I was walking along, with just my flashlight for company, and the familiar pangs began. I tried to distract myself, and found a group to walk and talk with, and was fine.

            Now fast forward to Friday night. As some of the oldest campers, the girls in my cabin stayed up late helping pack up camp and were hanging out, supervised, up where we’d done the Jesus Walk and the Stroll.  I went to go find them and check on them, armed with my flashlight. After hanging out with them all for a while, I headed back to the cabin to check my sugar. So once again, I was walking alone late at night down that path in the camp, but this time without my flashlight, which I  had handed to one of the teens never to see it again. (Or so I thought. They returned it later.) You would think I’d be bummed out or at least creeped out, but this time I was fine, strangely. I knew about where I was, how long it would take me to get to the cabin, who was behind me, and what lay before me. So I was good. And I didn’t think another thing of it. Til last week.

            Last week I was jamming out in my car to “Never Once.” The chorus goes, “Never once did we ever walk along/never once did you leave us on our own/ you are faithful, God you are faithful….. Every step we are breathing in your grace/ ever more we’ll be breathing out your praise…”  And it hit me. Both times at camp, I was surrounded. By the campers and staff behind me, and the God who walked with me and in front of me. On Friday I was aware of it, while on Wednesday I was too caught up by my physical alone-ness to notice that I’m never alone. On Wednesday I muddled through trail, but on Friday I walked confidently, hearing my surroundings and with the Light inside me instead of in my hand (flashlight).

            That happens a lot to me in life, too. My hope for the new school is that I walk as I did on Friday, confident that I’m not alone, and sure that I’ll reach my destination,  even though it’s dark and hard to see. Basically, that I’ll trust the One who walks with me to get me safely through the darkness.

Unexpected

the house we painted :)

 July 1, 2014

        

          Last week I was on a youth trip to a mission/work camp, where we painted houses, hung out, and worshipped together. It was really cool to get to know some of the kids I didn’t know as well, and hang out with the ones I do know well. I had never been on this particular trip before, and didn’t know exactly what to expect. I did know that I would be responsible for keeping an eye on our teens at the camp, and would be assigned to a work crew with other adults and several teens, to repaint a house in four days, but I didn’t expect what ended up happening.

          I’ve had Type 1 diabetes since childhood, and most of the time my blood sugars are pretty under control for the most part. Last week was not normal, though, and they didn’t behave. I was low or lower-than-I-like for most of the week. It was frustrating for me because I felt like I couldn’t be as effective of a leader since I was having to deal with my sugars so much. But here’s where the surprise comes in: those sweet teens rallied around me, checking on me and making sure my sugars were coming up, etc. One of them appointed herself my keeper, and stayed on me about it, not letting me downplay the problems as I usually do. (There are a couple girls who already do this, they were on a different work crew so they weren’t with me all the time.)

Part of my crew  working with some kids from another crew

         

During our “emo devo” one night, that sweet girl came over to me in tears, telling me how much she looked up to me and how she thought I was a wonderful leader, etc. Wow. I felt like I did all week was harp on my team about the work and deal with my sugars. But I guess Jesus was at work though it all. I have no idea what I did, but He turned it into a beautiful experience. Then after we got this weekend, I got the sweetest text from her, telling me that I am someone who has impacted her. My favorite part is this: “I love how you let Jesus work through you and how [you’re] also the hands and feet of him. You touch the [lives] of so many people around you”. She then went on to encourage me about a struggle I thought I’d only mentioned once in passing.

          It was so cool, because I know Jesus had prompted her to say it. It was just what I needed to hear that day. Man. He is so awesome! Others have given me similar encouragement (about this struggle) before, but this was special. Out of the blue, a 14 year old who I hadn’t known very well before last week sent me a text with the exact words I needed to hear? That’s God. I went on that trip to help out and bless the kids, and I ended up being blessed beyond measure.  I am so grateful to have been able to watch Him at work. There were so many other wonderful mini-lessons He taught me, too, but I’ll save those stories for another time.

         

The beautiful sunset we were treated to 

Summer is a really busy time, and it’s hard to carve time out to write. Maybe even harder is finding time to stop and think about things to write about. But I’m going to try to do better. Maybe I’ll carry my idea notebook with me at all times so I can jot down every little crazy thought I have. J Even if I don’t get it all written down, I’m resolved to notice more, and not let the beautiful moments of life slip by without thanking the Creator for them. I sincerely hope you are similarly blessed this week. To Him be the glory!

The Spontaneity Project

        Last week, I was invited to participate in a surprise for a dear girl's 18th birthday. Her sweet best friend was organizing a video shoot for a video set to "Celebration." After some major logistics stressing (How to get everyone from church without tipping off the birthday girl, and ensuring we had enough seat belts), we were underway. The "director" had gathered large cut-out letters spelling the birthday girl's name, a giant 1 and 8, 18 blank posters to create "18 Reasons to Celebrate You",  14 teenagers, and me. The plan was fairly simple - use the signs, one at a time, to show her why we all love her, while general craziness and shenanigans commenced in the background. (So business as usual.) Our "director" planned to make a DVD with the video and give it to the birthday girl as her present. Ok. Sounds good. I can handle that. There was not really a set time to be done, but I figured I could run a few errands after and still get home to cook dinner. Not so much, but it proved to be so worth it.

Hanging out while the others filmed

 Pretty quickly, the plan began to change. We needed to include the birthday girl in our fun once the surprise video was done. After all, what is the point of having basically a party (because that's what happens when these guys all get together) for the birthday girl without her? It would be more fun to be with her! So a new plan began to take place: finish the video quickly, bake cupcakes, and go over to her house to surprise her. But it wasn't that easy to create and enact the plan. Grocery runs had to be made, the camera had to be charged, and other logistics had to be worked out. It was quite the exercise in spontaneity for me! And you know, I am not very spontaneous. :)

Another challenge for me is knowing when to just hang out and be one of the group and when to do the things I see that need doing. Not a new problem for me, but a little worse since I am technically an adult, and therefore feel like I should act like one occasionally. But I decided to just let the "director" be in charge, and do what I was asked/told, and offer my opinion when asked. When the camera needed to charge and we needed to bake cupcakes, I volunteered to help. When the camera was ready before the cupcakes were and someone needed to stay in and finish the baking, I agreed to stay. It really wasn't a big deal. Then I guess my normal instincts kicked in, because next thing I know I'm washing dishes and cleaning up our baking mess. (Hey, it needed to be done!) At some point, the others came back inside, and caught me cleaning while waiting on the cupcakes. It wasn't like I could have gone outside with them right then but they fussed at me anyway, telling me I didn't have to wash the dishes, etc. Then one of them threw Jesus's words to Martha at me. It was so funny, because I'm so Martha. But it is insanely difficult to walk away when things need to be done. And I wasn't telling any of them to help me, like Martha did to Mary. But it was sweet anyway. So I set my baking aside, went out and danced around with my sign, and had a great time.

Filming

       After we finished the video, we iced the cupcakes, packed up and headed over to the birthday girl's house. It worked like a charm - she was so surprised. Her family had helped orchestrate the reveal, and it was really cool to be a part of. Since I struggle with being spontaneous, and that's basically all yesterday was, it was not the easiest balancing act of my life. But being an adult is all about doing the difficult things, right? Like jumping around the backyard dancing like a fool, hiding behind the shrubs to jump out and shout "Surprise!" and eating cupcakes. It's hard work, but someone has to do it. :)

Some of the group

       And it was well worth it. Memories were made, people were blessed, and it was a lot of fun! I really loved getting to be a part of a special birthday memory for her. And I wasn't the only one who had to be spontaneous. The others had plans and commitments they had to change as well. But to my knowledge, they didn't think a thing about it. Because that's what friendship does. It gives up time and sleep to make someone's day. So even though I'm supposed to be the "adult" they taught me a thing or two. And who knows? I may have to become more spontaneous as a rule. I'll put it on my to-do list.

Long Time, No Write

February 18, 2014

          I realize it's been a really long time since I posted a blog. 3 months is too long! The problem is, my whole point for this blog is to slow down and notice the important things in life. I haven't been doing that. At least not long enough to finish a complete thought. Several times over the last 3 months, I'll think, "Ooh. What a great thought! I should write that down!" But do I? Nope. Then, I may actually have a few minutes to write, but have nothing to say because I've been to busy!

          Ironically, it was at a youth conference (Winterfest) last weekend that I realized my problem. I didn't have any more time than usual that weekend. Well, ok, yes I did, but mostly because I slept a lot less (8 hours total over the weekend - am I crazy?) but that's beside the point. No, I think it's becauseI got just far enough away and off my normal routine that I had time to think. And probably the Holy Spirit's nudging. I realized something on that trip: I wasn't just neglecting my blog. There are several things I'd allowed myself to be "too busy for" including quality quiet time. And I've know this, somehow this weekend the pieces clicked together.

          And I realized: a lot of the time my blog posts are the result of quiet time. Once I actually stop long enough to think and process life, not just today and tomorrow's problems, the wheels start turning and won't stop. I kept thinking, "I should blog. But no, I need quiet time more. I need to find time for that first!" But then I didn't do either. Now I realize the two are connected. Just like becoming a better person/getting your life together and getting closer to Jesus. You don't do one first. They happen together.

       So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have let myself get so caught up in the busyness that I ignore my own advice. I don't dare promise that I will get it all together, but I will try. If we keep waiting to take the first step, we go nowhere.