Not Ready Yet

                I teach dance classes: ballet, jazz, tap, and acrobatics. I love all of them, but probably most surprising is how much I love teaching acrobatics.  I was not much of a tumbler as a kid, but I found that I could teach kids to tumble. I love watching the look on their face when they finally get a backbend by themselves, and then they read my face and look at my hands to make sure I truly wasn’t helping them. :)

                There are a few phrases I hear a lot in acro classes: “I can’t do it” (which I outlaw in my class), “Just be there,” (my favorite) and “I want to do it by myself.” The timid ones tend to use the first two phrases the most, and the fearless ones favor “by myself.” I love that those kids are confident in themselves, but sometimes they are just not ready. Yesterday I had to tell two different disappointed kids that they couldn’t do something by themselves yet. I hate the look in their eye when I say “no”. They usually look angry, then hurt, and sometimes will turn away from me so they won’t cry in front of anyone. I get it- they are disappointed and frustrated. But I would be a bad teacher if I allowed them to try something alone before they had the skills needed to do it safely.  

                It is never easy to hear “no” and to realize you aren’t ready for something. Waiting is hard and growing is painful. But both are necessary. Like almost any single 29 year old woman, my singleness is something I struggle with. I will think I am at peace, and then the enemy will sneak in and give me some reason to resent where my life is at the moment. I know it is unusual, but I decided a long time ago to wait on God’s timing. He has told me He has a plan for my life, and I can see it at work! I also truly believe He has a man picked out for me, but the time is not right yet. This is a deeply personal decision, but I believe God told me not to go looking yet, but to wait on Him. So I have tried. For almost the last 10 years. I don’t seek out relationships, but wait for God to open doors and put people in front of me. Because of this policy, I don’t date much. I know people have opinions on this, but it’s between God and me. And I believe that it is right for me. But that doesn’t make it easy.  There are days I want to go searching and do it “by myself” and get to the next chapter in my life. But that isn’t His plan for me. If I skip the end of this chapter, I will miss all kinds of wonderfulness. And I will miss the natural growth He has planned for me. I will get hurt, unnecessarily.  (Don’t get me wrong- I know taking risks and getting hurt are a part of life, and I am not afraid of them. I am talking about thinking my plan is greater than God’s, which it never will be.)

                Even though they don’t like my answers all the time, my students trust me. They trust me to be there for them and catch them if they fall, and they trust that I will not set them up for failure or injury. So if I say “you’re not ready”, they will wait.  They will probably make a face, and may cry about it later, but they will trust me, and they will wait till I say “Ok. You’re ready. The time is right. Go for it.” In the same way, I will trust God. He is far better than I am, and He will never steer me wrong. I might not like it, and it might not make sense, but I will wait. And one day, He will say “The time is right. Go for it.”