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A few months after my 16th
birthday, I went with my dad to help pick out/try on a ring for my mom as an
anniversary present. We found a small, simple gold ring with an amethyst (which
is my birthstone, but Dad said Mom would love it) that fit me, so it would fit
her, too, and was unlike any other rings she had. I was very surprised later
when they both gave it to me as a purity ring.
At first I was a little disappointed
because I wanted a True Love Waits ring with the inscription, like other girls
had, or a key necklace like some of my friends had, but I grew to love my
unique purity ring. At first, that was all it was – a ring to remind me to stay
pure. Like many girls of my generation,
I bought into the movement – wait til marriage, sign the pledge, wear the ring
- It’s the right thing to do and is God-honoring. But we missed something. True
Love Waits, but God’s love doesn’t. It doesn’t have to. I used my ring as a
finger-warmer for many years, waiting until it was replaced with an engagement
or wedding ring. (Side note – there is a great blog about this same type of
thing called “I Don’t Wait Anymore” and can be found at
gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/02/idontwait/). It feels like I all I did in my
teens and early to mid-twenties is wait. And I don’t particularly like to wait.
A few years ago, I began to wonder
if I would ever get married, and what was the point of wearing a purity ring
anymore, anyway? What was cool at 16 seemed lame and desperate at 26, plus
after that many years, did I really need a ring on my finger to remind me to do
what I believe is right? But I kept it on, partly because I couldn’t imagine
not wearing anything on that finger. Then I realized something. I was wearing
my ring for the wrong reasons, and after a good hard look at my heart, I
changed my view about my ring. The whole idea of a purity ring is a reminder
and a statement. The ring has not changed, but my purpose for wearing it has.
I don’t wear it now to remind me
what not to do, but to remind me that I am loved. It doesn’t make the statement
of “I’m waiting” anymore, but “I’m taken,” because I am. I am God’s. He is the
true love of my life. So I wear the ring, proudly, and love when people ask why
I wear a ring if I’m not engaged or married. I used to answer, “It’s a purity
ring,” but now I say, “It’s a promise ring,” and if they ask for clarification,
I happily tell them Who I am promised to.
So yes, 14 years later, the ring and
I are still together. (Actually, right now it’s at the jewelers being repaired,
so I am wearing a substitute ring.) And one day, I will take it off or move it
to a different hand to make room for one with a diamond instead of an amethyst.
Or I’ll wear the amethyst til I die, either way. Because I’m not waiting on
true love anymore. I’ve found Him.
